Tuesday, October 21, 2008

"Save me from the nothing I have become." -Evanescence

Lately a co-worker of my mine has been down, coming in late, depressed and there is just hurt in his eyes. I began to talk to him, I asked him what was the matter, he began to open his heart.

Last year about a year exactly his twin brother died of leukemia, last week his older brother started feeling numbness in his legs, then just after two days he was paralysed from the waist down, he went to the ER and was diagnosed with MS.

He had a kid when he was 20, was divorced after two years and now has a 5yr old that he sees half of the days of the week. His son is going through a phase where he doesn't want to be with his Daddy and its killing him.

He lives with his parents, to help support them because they are both alcoholics, he is depressed and can't stop crying, he drinks, or smokes or does whatever he can to drowned out the pain, but says he feels even worse when he wakes up the next morning.

He said, " I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, I don't want to talk to anyone, all I do is cry and I can't stop, I don't know what to do I don't know what is wrong with me, I have never been depressed before, I think I'll go to the doctor."

He went on to plea with me......."Rebecca, what should I do, tell me what I should do to change and I'll do it, no ones telling me what to do, Rebecca tell me what to do? Tears began to fill his eyes and I felt so helpless.

I said,"James I am so sorry you are going through all of this, do you think God is trying to get your attention?"

He admitted that he thinks God has been trying to get his attention for awhile now, then he wanted to know what to do about that.

He said,"Why would God do all these horrible things in my life to try and get my attention?"

I said,"James, when you have to punish JJ and you know he is not gonna like you after you do it, you do it anyway because you love him, right?

He looked at me and I saw wheels turning in his head, and he said, "wow I never thought about it like that before."

He said again, "But Rebecca, what should I do?"

I said, "go to church with me on Thursday."

He said, "That is your answer, go to church?"

I then said, "James, do you want me to tell you what I believe?"

"Yes," he said, "I am curious to know."

I then started to share the gospel, from the fall of man , to a need for a savior, to that savior being Jesus Christ.

He was listening intently and said, "I had someone tell me I needed to accept something that I need to accept Jesus or something, what does that mean?"

I began to share scripture, I began to share about grace, of Christ's love, and that grace is a gift given by Jesus Christ, so that we can be with the Father."

I told him you have to admit to Jesus that you need help that you can't live this life on your own, that you need him in your life."

He said, "well Rebecca I am ready to except him, I am admitting that I need help, I need his help I can't do this on my own."

He then said, "how do you know if I except Jesus that I will change, what if nothing changes?"

I said, " I know and have a 100% faith that you will see change."

He then said, "well even if I don't change I have nothing to loose."

He followd that with, "Rebecca I feel empty inside, almost as if I have no organs, I can't feel my heart beat, it feels as though something is missing."

He is coming to church with me this Thursday, we got interrupted so I was unable to pray with him then.

Please keep James in your prayers, please pray that his heart would be guarded by the lies of the enemy and that he will be able to come to know a loving and beautiful SAVIOR!!


Leah said...

praise GOD!
i will pray for him!

Bethany said...

that's SOOOO awesome! I will be praying for him!