Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Final Stretch
It is in the 100's by the ocean and I can not go swimming! I love to swim, I feel light and like nothing holds be back not even these lungs of mine! I almost don't feel human as I kick my feet and the water wooches past my face like a powerful wind! For a small moment I am not in this world, I have escaped to an unknown underground, where time stands still, like I am gopher ducking down in it's hole, somewhere safe and sound.
Sadly today, the hottest day of the year, I can not swim, I love swimming in the ocean, diving in and out as the waves crash down, like you are cheating this force of nature!!
I have one more day until this central line gets out, that is if my lung capacity is where, "they, " want it to be! Which I am pretty sure it is. I have been riding the stationary bike and getting faster and with higher resistance and NOT getting out of breathe! I am praying I made my goal to 80%! It makes me nervous just thinking about it. I am notorious at clinic for being so happy and then when I blow my PFT's crying. I think partially it is that I am VERY hard on myself and nothing is good enough it could always be better. I think the only time I was satisfied with my lung capacity is when I was 20yrs old and I blew a record breaking (for a normal person) 130%, I know what you are thinking,"is that even possible?" Yes it is and it was! Maybe for an athlete!! Sadly I will never gain that capacity back, but I can fight for what I do have!
I will keep you updated with the results from clinic tomorrow! Shine bright!