I have always had a large imagination, not scared of all the endless possibilities that life has to offer, the only problem was they never made it past the confounds of my mind, fear of failure was the only thing holding me back.
As I got older I would rather think that someone who does great things has it come to them by some divine plan, and that selected few has nothing to do with what I do. Then still as I get older and as my CF limits me more and more that is now an excuse where I didn't have to admit or face the fear which was the real hindrance.
Now, I feel like all this creative pressure as been building up inside of me trying to get out and now its going to explode, I now am changing my view of success, and realizing that there is so much more than what people consider to be success.
I am tired of living with the, "what if's," I am now ready to live with, " I tried." I have talent but little confidence in that talent, unaware of all the possibilities I feel lost and don't know where to began.
I am overwhelmed but excited, inspired but scared, Lord, God give me direction and clarity.
On a different note yesterday I ate really greasy food and drank a lot of soda and not enough water so now my pancreas hurts, man, my health is fragile, it is amazing how much I have to do to maintain a somewhat normal life.
I just feel like sleeping for 3 days straight, I wish i could do that, that would be amazing, I just love to sleep.