Tuesday, June 3, 2008

All you need is love -Beatles

This is what I am, I am in love, in love with life, in love with God, in love with food, I am wrapped up with love.

It's how I live, I am a person in love, it is how I learn, how I perceive, how I give, it is all because I am in love.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, I love easily and get hurt often, hold my hand and I will give you my heart....I am in love with love.

I went to a retreat last weekend, and had a great time with old and new friends, the only problem is when I am with friends away from home it is harder for me to be disciplined and do my treatments, so I got pretty congested on Sunday.

The part that spoke to me the most is when we split up the guys and girls for a Q & A time,

Deanna Valencia was the leader for the girls.

We wrote our questions on some card stock and then Deanna would try to answer them the best she could.

As I was sitting there trying to think what to ask I was becoming very frustrated because I didn't know what I should ask but I knew there was something in my heart that was screaming for an answer.

As I sat there with the pen tip sitting on a blank piece of paper, my inward thoughts some how through the grace of God made it to the fore front of my mind and the words became to come together.

"How can I love God with my WHOLE heart and love a man, will it ever not seem like a compromise?"

This question summed up the turmoil my heart was going through the struggle of desiring to love the Lord with my whole heart but not denying the fact that Idesired to be married and have children.

Deanna, replied, "Love the Giver more than the gift.

Still later that night, we were encouraged to surrender all to the Lord, I still was not at peace in my heart in this matter, I thought, "Will the Lord never bring a husband to me because it will compromise my love for Him?"

This was an issue I needed to surrender, an issue that my heart was not at peace about and I could not go on without having some sort of consolation in the matter.

So I went to an old friend more like a second Mom, Debbie to get further understanding, I began to tell her how I was still not at ease with that issue or question I had asked earlier.

She tenderly began to tell me that when I love God that is how I can love a man because it is God's love through me that allows me to love that man. Also by loving that man I am loving God because God gave me that man to love and by being obedient to the Lord I am loving God.

Then she prayed with me that I would have peace of heart and that I would trust in the Lord, I was truly blessed, it made sense in my head and in my heart.

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