I am running my fingers through the strands of my hair allowing the softness to be a therapy to my stressed mind. Doing everything but staying still, in my mind of denial I surround myself with noise so that I can continue to remain numb to my current issues.
When truth rises to view I turn my head and heart in a haste so that I will not have to face, the grace that God gives.
For some reason I am hurting right now, for some odd reason that I can't pin point I am feeling depressed. There is something wrong in my soul for I can feel it disturbed within me.
Instead of trying to address these issues I have been pushing it aside, but as I left it to fester and grow, it has become a tumor of my soul, full of bitterness and doubt.
I have been feeling unmotivated, unsuccessful and unhappy, my problem...a lack of spending time at the feet of Jesus, in my bitterness I subconsciously was giving Jesus the silent treatment. Which in the end only hurt me more than I was to start with; so now I am asking Jesus to forgive me, to take me in His arms and give me the strength to carry on.
Sorry for the depressing blog I just needed to vent a bit